The Anti Fine

[Maven.]

freedom of speech, lies in the freedom to speak;
if you're mute then it doesn't apply to you.

freedom of speech, lies in the freedom to speak;
I'm mute so it doesn't apply to me.

freedom of speech, lies in the freedom to speak;
the freedom to speak doesn't notice it's lying.

freedom of speech, lies to the people who love it;
if you care, then it doesn't apply to you.

freedom of speech, lies to the people who use it;
if I cared, it would surely apply to me.

I am the double standard.

freedom of speech, lies to everyone around it;
I lied, it applies to you too.

freedom of speech, lies to itself for comfort;
awkwardness removes itself slowly.

freedom of speech, lies to those who understand;
they know it's lying, but they avoid contact.

freedom of speech, lies to it's light source;
freedom of speech lives in the darkness.


Freedom Of Speech Is Locked In The Trunk Of My Car.
Vroooom.

[prophacyz]

very nice. i like it...keep it up

[Civilized Rebel]

This was a really serious peice. And even though it ended on a serious note, I couldn't help but crack a smile at the end. Just thought it was cool and just a bit humorous.

I think, wether you did it on purpose or not, the fact that you went without capitilization actually worked. It actually stood out and seemed to mean something. I like this stuff you're writing, great job.

~Shalom~

[Neruda II]

To start it off, Great poem.

I really, and I mean really, hate to read poems that dont rhyme. For this piece, I didnt care at all that it didnt rhyme, mostly because it is short and very interestingly written. The length of the poem made it seem like a simple poem, simple in the aspect of the difficulty of writing it. I think this kind of poem is very hard to do and at the same time have a deep message. I'm glad that I was able to read this poem for a number of reasons.

1.message:the message "freedom of speech" is a topic that I'm very familiar with, I wanted to write a poem with the same topic but my gay ass computer is broke(I'm using my school comp) I like how the emotions about freedom of speech seem to conflict each other, but also are similar.

2.way it was written:i like how it was formatted, very unsual but very simple yet easy to like. There is also repettion to keep the message in the mind of the reader, I liked the way it repeated alot. The length made it a fast read, but it also was deep, so the length made it easy for the reader to come back to the piece and to understand it.

3.The end: the end of the poem (like necromancer said) is very well done, almost humorous, but also in a way serious. made it have a "cool" aspect to the poem.

fav lines:"freedom of speech, lies to the people who love it;
if you care, then it doesn't apply to you.

freedom of speech, lies to the people who use it;
if I cared, it would surely apply to me."

very good poem, i hope u make another one like this.

-Sleepy-

[Maven.]

whoa....good replies. I love this forum.
yeah, atra and LA, the ending was meant to be funny....I have a feeling I only added the vroom cause I wrote it at like, 3am.
I had never intended this to be about freedom of speech though...go figure.
thanks guys.

[Neruda II]

this is a real good poem, its being slept on. Ill up it for ya.