Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
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Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
good luck Sya.
Agreed on extension until tomorrow.
http://product-image.tradeindia.com/...-Mannequin.jpg
Oh, you're just a toy
Could you ever be a real, real boy?
I wish you could feel
That my love is real
But you're not a man...
Nature of lust, depression and love get wasted on trust
Where does patience rest? cause the clock only caters to dust
Playing with such moments, only leaves these days in rush
Betrayal's a must, that's the only way that we escape from a clutch
The truth never starts, we can't stop blanketing lies
And see, we never find a balance 'til we're breaking the ties
Mistaking the eyes for a lens, these people are cosmetic
Faker than those hands that feed them, so easily prosthetic
Believe it, we've all said it...deceit's blinding the image
Finding clearer views outside, but then inside we're diminished
Applying a finishing coat, whether it's paint or a jacket
The canvas becomes so addicting that it remains as a habit
And brains can get damaged by the 'nice' and the 'change'
So art is in the picture, but it's only worth the price of the frame
One chance and it's done, these hearts write with a stain
Dice is a game, thank my lucky stars if you get right in my lane
I wish I could just turn you on
Put a battery in and make you talk...
...or even pull a string...
Hearts break; souls are stuck in the past as they blend
We practice and bend, growing up there's some disasters to mend
Triumph is backwards and when we notice the progress
We see hope floats, in a wrecked boat, so we know that it's nonsense
These objects aren't partners on roads we're wishing to go
People say that love's in the air, but then the wind doesn't blow
So when did it show up? the plastic parts are passive darts
Laughing starts and babbles follow, 2 by 2 into a massive ark
These bodies aren't attractive, mold the digits correct
So today we'll make a connection, but never live to respect
This prison's set forth by the clothes on the rack
But we want to find out, who would pose in your mask?
Cause you're not a man
You're just a mannequin
The unbroken glass lives, but nothing ever changes.
Tell me, who ever lived life to the fullest?
Who put the effort into writing what full is?
If you’re studyin’ this then you’re bloodiest kiss
-will be at the end when you’re bitin’ the bullet.
aint a license to pull it, you needa earn that.
Needa learn that time don’t recede or turn back.
You don’t repeat a first track or bleed a verse wack,
when you bring fire, expect the heat to burn back.
Exceed a firm grasp ‘til the bleedin’ burst –BLAST!
Shakin’ life up a bit, in a 2-liter squirt cap,
-where he ‘n her chat.
Bang in the head board-eventually get bored,
-n cut it off, we deserve that.
You could never be happy, without the pain too.
You gotta work to have fun, so you can pay to.
To love means to lose and still love who hates you,
-and to live a full life, sometimes we gotta break too.
The broken glass dies, but had something to live for.
Sya... the concept was soooo dope man.. doper than Mariah's... but you didn't fuckin execute it well enough. your flow was flawless.. your lines were dope... but I felt like I got fuckin' jewed out of a good piece when I was finished reading.. the ending and beginning were there.. but there was no meat to the concept.. no substance other than the face value of the piece... you could literally tell someone in two sentences what your concept was and they would've got the same thing out of reading this piece... I'm saying that for me, maybe not for you, but for ME.. this shit was too short.. it wasn't devoloped enough... maybe you needed to go and had to end it early? maybe you were too tired?? fuck if I know.. but you ended it early man...
Mariah.. yours wasn't much longer but it was finished.. now you were describing to me what your idea was and I also expected more from it.. but I got this.. this was good. but it wasn't as epic as it could've been. I love the idea.. not as cool as sya's.. but more complete in my eyes and it was better to read. you had some dope lines.. love that last stanza.. you did well on it... overall... good drop
both sides had great ideas.. and both sides could've done more with their ideas.. mariah on the other hand though, she did actually have enough meat in this to make the reader satisfied afterwards.. where as Sya's drop read like a one verse snippet... great writing from both.. but not enough of it...
vote Mariah
Believe it, we've all said it...deceit's blinding the image
Finding clearer views outside, but then inside we're diminished
Pretty dope bar right there chica. The concept wasn't very creative or fresh. But the way you executed it was pretty dope. Really didn't like the prosthetic (mispelled, who cares?) line. Liked the cosmetic one, but the rhyme just seemed odd to me personally. The flow of the piece was pretty good. Enjoyed the read.
SyaNidal....
If you’re studyin’ this then you’re bloodiest kiss
-will be at the end when you’re bitin’ the bullet.
Absolutely LOVED that bar right there. It was so poetic in many ways from my point of view. I agree, your concept was much better than Mariah's.. and if your piece was a little longer, and kept up with dope material like this bar. Then you would've went on with my vote. But with how it stands, she just had more meat. To where you only had a strong backbone bro.
Vote Mariah.
i think dagel hit the nail on the head. sya you had a really great take on the topic. an initial basis that was creative and potentially really insightful. i know this was rushed on your part and it seems sort of a pivotal point in the season for you to be droppin so lackluster .. but w/e .. what you had was pretty good, the execution wasn't the best. the transition between unbroken and broken wasn't clear enough imo .. just overall an ok verse.
mariah .. really technically sound, solid style you maintain .. the only real 'complaint' i have is that sometimes the flow itself can seem repetitive simply cuz it follows a pretty specific rhyme pattern the whole way through. which is not really a complaint, cuz consistency can also a good thing .. idk
sometimes i feel like there could have been more, literal meaning in a few of your lines if you didnt have to match up that multi. it was easy to follow and read, i just had to give it a few close reads before the whole thing absorbed. i mean, most of the lines aren't like, making a statement, they're more using various other images and objects (the ark, canvas/art, wind, mask) to convey emotion and let us follow along. thats pretty much what i got out of it because i couldn't read it chronologically as a story, but more as a stream of consciousness.
the closer really stuck with me. you know how to begin and end a piece well .. there were a few small portions that didnt agree with me, just cuz how you worded it or i just couldnt get anything out of it.
but overall a really solid verse.
v/ mariah .. syanidal extending his original concept would have made this a really dope matchup.
1
Mariah advances.