Transformation of Thought

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=122506



Transformation of Thought

My pen begins to send my thoughts
from within my soul, through my skin
into my hand demanding identity,
entity of my essence in sentence.
Expressed confessed depression is remedy
for stress so heavily rested inside of me.
Intricate sentiment vented inspires me
irony, pain when explained feel so good to me.
Could it be sadness is madness, insanity?
Has to be, tragedy always attracted me
actually, magically draws me emotionally,
hopefully, most of me saved by my poetry.
Finally free, the way it's supposed to be
for the rest of existance, I keep my pen close to me.

Woot! First poetry drop I've seen from you $pit..ok

I like the structure...rhyme scheme was a little weird to me...you seemed to switch styles...try to end your lines with different weirds..ie not 'me' all the time...It can be done in some instances however....Multis were nice...nicely done...the msg of the poem was very well done too...could maybe up the imagry and emotion of the piece....And extend it cause I'd like to read more. Good Job $pit

Please peep http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=121540

anyone else?

I liked this. It was solid all around. The structure, the rhymes, the vocab, the flow, the expression.

I can't think of anything I'd change.

~Shalom~

this was a solid verse.made sense from the start to the end.the rhymes were good. good word play. I found it very interesting.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128049
check mines....