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12 LINES
CHECK IN: SUNDAY
VERSES DUE: TUESDAY
@Letterman @miracle
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Ok.
Check
@Letterman due tomorrow
Requesting the ext early, just in case.
Vs @Letterman
We go back a long time.. N it saddens me to leave you fried, geek
I might start feeling like im Blue after this, s'cuz facing you is like a bye week
mir will shatter ya jaw w/a roundhouse.. Your whole face I'll smash in
bring a kick to letching so vicious i'll get locked up for sexual harassment
Ill leave ya body in a laker swamp somewhere.. Bullet riddled by sunlight
When that chopper lift, it'll spark fire n have u hitting the ground like a kobe flight
Talk all the shit that u want. My nine taking you down like trips to the south
And when i raise this armature face, it will instantly quiet this motor mouth
Girls don't enjoy sex w/ u! He AINT making them orgasm any time
If you hear ammonia probably waking them up w/smelling salts after a sex crime
w/ my bare fist i will break you. DONT RUN.....be a man and face it..
Ill beat him so bad paramedics will have to get help from tiffany & co. to bracelet
My style is full of violence. & You can trust, it’s not civil
So after this you’ll actually have to admit.. yourself into a fuckin hospital
For your own safety.. Sit there, dont speak out of turn & just listen
Or your fam will be checking a box, if you don’t follow the terms and conditions
U been prolonging death. I got bullets to make u die this hour
& it’ll be exponential.. once I put 2 at your top, & send you to a higher power
I tried to get him a chick. He had a loss of words & approached wit doubt
But even after telling Miralax, his bitch ass still couldn’t seem to get that shit out
Ur not champ material yet. This fool needs some help
But keep trying to conveyor skills, it only proves to us you cant make moves w/ da belt
Ur girl don’t fuck with u no more.. but when she gave me head she was all joyful
To the point that I had to halter top, while you can’t the bitch to take that off for you
We go back a long time.. N it saddens me to leave you fried, geek
I might start feeling like im Blue after this, s'cuz facing you is like a bye week
cool hit
mir will shatter ya jaw w/a roundhouse.. Your whole face I'll smash in
bring a kick to letching so vicious i'll get locked up for sexual harassment
your whole face I'll smash in comes across weird. Should have spelt it letchin' not let ching
Too much fuckery here for me to count this bar
Ill leave ya body in a laker swamp somewhere.. Bullet riddled by sunlight
When that chopper lift, it'll spark fire n have u hitting the ground like a kobe flight
dont like this
Talk all the shit that u want. My nine taking you down like trips to the south
And when i raise this armature face, it will instantly quiet this motor mouth
cool
Girls don't enjoy sex w/ u! He AINT making them orgasm any time
If you hear ammonia probably waking them up w/smelling salts after a sex crime
cool
w/ my bare fist i will break you. DONT RUN.....be a man and face it..
Ill beat him so bad paramedics will have to get help from tiffany & co. to bracelet
didnt like the wp was executed. Also again with the Yoda wording... with my bare fist I will break you..
Vs
My style is full of violence. & You can trust, it’s not civil
So after this you’ll actually have to admit.. yourself into a fuckin hospital
I just did a admission / hospital bar and mine was better not digging this
For your own safety.. Sit there, dont speak out of turn & just listen
Or your fam will be checking a box, if you don’t follow the terms and conditions
this is decent
U been prolonging death. I got bullets to make u die this hour
& it’ll be exponential.. once I put 2 at your top, & send you to a higher power
this is cool
I tried to get him a chick. He had a loss of words & approached wit doubt
But even after telling Miralax, his bitch ass still couldn’t seem to get that shit out
its ok
Ur not champ material yet. This fool needs some help
But keep trying to conveyor skills, it only proves to us you cant make moves w/ da belt
conveyor is a reach. Ending sounds lik er not your
Ur girl don’t fuck with u no more.. but when she gave me head she was all joyful
To the point that I had to halter top, while you can’t the bitch to take that off for you
dont like this
Letterman had lots with higher power but mir came more consistent.
v/mir
Miracle
We go back a long time.. N it saddens me to leave you fried, geek
I might start feeling like im Blue after this, s'cuz facing you is like a bye week
You rarely see me call shit played, cuz everything played to some degree... but as far as a NP on Blue, I have seen 'feelin blue' a ton. This aight
mir will shatter ya jaw w/a roundhouse.. Your whole face I'll smash in
bring a kick to letching so vicious i'll get locked up for sexual harassment
I like the concept but not where you went with it.
Ill leave ya body in a laker swamp somewhere.. Bullet riddled by sunlight
When that chopper lift, it'll spark fire n have u hitting the ground like a kobe flight
DQ
Talk all the shit that u want. My nine taking you down like trips to the south
And when i raise this armature face, it will instantly quiet this motor mouth
WP is fire. One of the better gun bars
Girls don't enjoy sex w/ u! He AINT making them orgasm any time
If you hear ammonia probably waking them up w/smelling salts after a sex crime
I'd use "get ammonia" or "hear a moan ya". A bit wordy, but solid overall
w/ my bare fist i will break you. DONT RUN.....be a man and face it..
Ill beat him so bad paramedics will have to get help from tiffany & co. to bracelet
Good
You finished strong. Your concepts and wording are both generally good. Not much to improve in that area except tightening up the little things. Like taking out unnecessary words to make it flow that much smoother. The closer for example:
"I'll beat him so bad paramedics'll need tiffany & co to bracelet"
A simple change like that makes it flow smoother, while getting the same point across. Rewording the whole bar & using more jewelry wp throughout woulda made it fire.
Good verse overall though, not a single bad bar.
7.5/10
VS
Letterman
My style is full of violence. & You can trust, it’s not civil
So after this you’ll actually have to admit.. yourself into a fuckin hospital
So-So misdirection
For your own safety.. Sit there, dont speak out of turn & just listen
Or your fam will be checking a box, if you don’t follow the terms and conditions
Fresh flip/concept on t&c
U been prolonging death. I got bullets to make u die this hour
& it’ll be exponential.. once I put 2 at your top, & send you to a higher power
One of the more creative gun bars I've seen, but I'm not liking how basic the word exponential was tied into the punch.
I tried to get him a chick. He had a loss of words & approached wit doubt
But even after telling Miralax, his bitch ass still couldn’t seem to get that shit out
Nice
Ur not champ material yet. This fool needs some help
But keep trying to conveyor skills, it only proves to us you cant make moves w/ da belt
Nice again
Ur girl don’t fuck with u no more.. but when she gave me head she was all joyful
To the point that I had to halter top, while you can’t the bitch to take that off for you
Not as good as the last three, but better than the first two
Good verse. Conveyor should've been the closer. You've got wording and flow down. Your last three bars were better at belittling the opponent directly and creatively, but I wouldn't consider the others bad.
Both verses were surprisingly consistent, but Letterman had stronger standouts.
8.5/10
Vote Letterman
Will hit this as lunch....cool battle dudes
We go back a long time.. N it saddens me to leave you fried, geek
I might start feeling like im Blue after this, s'cuz facing you is like a bye week
Good start.
mir will shatter ya jaw w/a roundhouse.. Your whole face I'll smash in
bring a kick to letching so vicious i'll get locked up for sexual harassment
Pretty good… You may want to let people know Letching is a word…
Ill leave ya body in a laker swamp somewhere.. Bullet riddled by sunlight
When that chopper lift, it'll spark fire n have u hitting the ground like a kobe flight
Nope. Not giving anyone credit for using Kobe this week.
Talk all the shit that u want. My nine taking you down like trips to the south
And when i raise this armature face, it will instantly quiet this motor mouth
Nice.
Girls don't enjoy sex w/ u! He AINT making them orgasm any time
If you hear ammonia probably waking them up w/smelling salts after a sex crime
Fair.
w/ my bare fist i will break you. DONT RUN.....be a man and face it..
Ill beat him so bad paramedics will have to get help from tiffany & co. to bracelet
This read funny… good idea - I’ve never seen a bracelet let wp just chunky.
My style is full of violence. & You can trust, it’s not civil
So after this you’ll actually have to admit.. yourself into a fuckin hospital
Fresh start.
For your own safety.. Sit there, dont speak out of turn & just listen
Or your fam will be checking a box, if you don’t follow the terms and conditions
Haha nice.
U been prolonging death. I got bullets to make u die this hour
& it’ll be exponential.. once I put 2 at your top, & send you to a higher power
cool.
I tried to get him a chick. He had a loss of words & approached wit doubt
But even after telling Miralax, his bitch ass still couldn’t seem to get that shit out
hahaa… nice.
Ur not champ material yet. This fool needs some help
But keep trying to conveyor skills, it only proves to us you cant make moves w/ da belt
Ok.
Ur girl don’t fuck with u no more.. but when she gave me head she was all joyful
To the point that I had to halter top, while you can’t the bitch to take that off for you
Ok.
This was a really good battle.. and super close. I am going with Letterman for a couple of reasons
His misses were more enjoyable… and Mir’s wording was weird sometimes? The bracelet bar would’ve
Been done right and I go with him… but it wasn’t sooo
v/Let.
2-1 letter
We go back a long time.. N it saddens me to leave you fried, geek
I might start feeling like im Blue after this, s'cuz facing you is like a bye week
^ehh basic. not a miss just basic
mir will shatter ya jaw w/a roundhouse.. Your whole face I'll smash in
bring a kick to letching so vicious i'll get locked up for sexual harassment
^had potential but didn't like the wording. why would u get locked up for sexual harassment when u kick someone?
Ill leave ya body in a laker swamp somewhere.. Bullet riddled by sunlight
When that chopper lift, it'll spark fire n have u hitting the ground like a kobe flight
^lol
Talk all the shit that u want. My nine taking you down like trips to the south
And when i raise this armature face, it will instantly quiet this motor mouth
^dope
Girls don't enjoy sex w/ u! He AINT making them orgasm any time
If you hear ammonia probably waking them up w/smelling salts after a sex crime
^lol
w/ my bare fist i will break you. DONT RUN.....be a man and face it..
Ill beat him so bad paramedics will have to get help from tiffany & co. to bracelet
^not a good closer
Vs.
My style is full of violence. & You can trust, it’s not civil
So after this you’ll actually have to admit.. yourself into a fuckin hospital
^lol generic as fuck but entertaining
For your own safety.. Sit there, dont speak out of turn & just listen
Or your fam will be checking a box, if you don’t follow the terms and conditions
^solid. reminds me of one of my bars this week
U been prolonging death. I got bullets to make u die this hour
& it’ll be exponential.. once I put 2 at your top, & send you to a higher power
^not feeling
I tried to get him a chick. He had a loss of words & approached wit doubt
But even after telling Miralax, his bitch ass still couldn’t seem to get that shit out
^seen a Miralax np recently so nah
Ur not champ material yet. This fool needs some help
But keep trying to conveyor skills, it only proves to us you cant make moves w/ da belt
^nice
Ur girl don’t fuck with u no more.. but when she gave me head she was all joyful
To the point that I had to halter top, while you can’t the bitch to take that off for you
^lol
good battle. if Mir had a decent closer i woulda voted for him but..
V/letter
Mirage-
last 3 were decent. Armature being the best. Tiffany and co was pretty good.
Leather man-
I liked all of yours except the last two. Exponential was nice. Conveyer was played and the closer was weak.
Decent battle.
Vote weather man. Way more consistent, better bars overall
Letter wins