Love Bites v2

Love Bites v2

Black - cause I am the virgin and As the nun
Olly aul oxens free
Now tell me your game was fun
Tell me it was worth it just cause you heard of me
I’m a tell you what I know and then demand what it be
I made love once during a white storm on the beach under a purple sky
Only once I ever and I kept my oath since so tell me why
Remember love may bite but it’s only twice shy
Twice - maybe - and never with another guy

I’m never alone, I walk with dead
I plead my case and it was over while fighting for my head
I was young and stupid and nothing ever made sense
I guess that’s what the terror brings on the brink of innocence

I don’t make love and I never did since

(The songs chorus)

I can’t answer those questions for you but I can tell you it can be true when you throw it around
Doubt can lead you to believe you’re not good enough for the one that you found
And I don’t mind much the trip of insanity
But that’s just a result of keeping me away from my own family
Tell me one person in this world that can just stand back up again and shake this shit off
Ok... I’m a do it but bitch don’t ever in your life think it’s cause I’m just soft

Any day, any time - your life is now mine
You wanna run out clocks but can’t understand a soldier from our line

(The songs chorus)

Yes, yes, no, yes, and yes... I didn’t know...

NO. Not at all and not by me!

(The song chorus)

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Like they spinning rounds repeating the same thing and it gets worse and worse - I don’t know how I’m caught in their cypher but I’m pretty sure I know who the culprits are - or at least the people that do know who it is - like the ones that set me up to even begin with.

Everyone else since was just for show and now it's even worse - I don't even want to date or have sex anymore.

They woke me up and I thought it was you. Terrorized me as usual. And you're not obligated to me I just need to know if you're here for me or not so I can just let go and move on if I have to - cause waiting with a bag packed isn't doing much to help me or time that's gone forever that I can never change or get back. I'll take the blame, that's my own fault... just don't blow kisses or string me along if you know it isn't true.

I love seeing all this shit I wouldn't even say or write though... Just for show? NO... a family - I wanted a family... I put my best effort into ALL of my boyfriends since.

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Nah when I was locked up at 13... Danny... he fought on the floor and they dragged, drugged, and tied him down in the solitary padded room. And he was screaming all night. I couldn't sleep... I just kept using the remote on my bed to go and down until I finally could. To think... those were the days mental would feel safe. So now everyone knows how much I hate to go to the hospital now too. That's was "the mad man screaming" and like... forget it. I don't know what I'm tying to say...

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I hate psych, I'm so fucking sick of psych... I'm tired of everyone making such a big deal of me drinking and yay but not of what's been going on ever since. You're not going to tell me what my life was or is about especially when I'm the only one that has to answer for it. Do you really think people are dispensable and donated to your cause? Just shut the fuck up! Get back to your own lane... mind your business... and let go of me. I had every rite to wake up - but not to and still like this. When is the nightmare that they insist on feeding me just over? This shit isn't a joke or a game to me. It's my ONE life and I rather have died then to sit here and feel like it's been donated to you and your cause instead of mine. When do my boundaries and rites get respected again? Cause I can't really understand how this even happens.

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I can't even coordinate an outfit right now, do my hair, or manage my money right. I feel so sick it's not even funny. I'm tired of this weird spiritual shit that's not even my religion making me feel like this and not like myself. And I'm just really offended that there is a God that lets them.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by A Disciple

Just shut the fuck up! Get back to your own lane... mind your business... and let go of me.

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Going along with this 'in your own lane' analogy; you're driving along as fast as possible to get to where you're going, and nearly every time someone pulls out in front of you, it is out of ignorance because they only care about their own journey. But you should consider the possibility that someone has pulled out in front of you to give you the benefit of a slipstream. Everything is not always as immediately perceived.

@bag_mandela sound advice and “the light” is my favorite poem

I know it seems like I'm talking shit to my family - I'm not. I'm talking shit to the people who demand to keep me away from them. And oath? I made an oath to my church that I may or may not break cause obviously it didn't protect me either. And like... I'm just getting drunk and airing out any which way if IF is IF... you know. And being so private I'm glad this site is so fucking dead but I would never be that selfish. What does slip stream mean?

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I don't like being forced to share my body with ghosts and it makes me sick - they're trying to force me and demand I side with the people who hurt me and walked me like I was their pet dog they could abuse. People like them? Sleeping me? How does that even happen? They don't even know better then not to steal someones free will that GOD promised everybody (but me obvioudly). I rather be dead then to be forced to share my body with a ghost that gives me the finger, kisses my hands, gives myself dirty looks in the mirror, prays with me, redirects my thoughts, and attached to my soul without even permission - nah - that's not what my life or cause is about. I even tried jumping over a broom by myself to counter act that rape and why and how they do it.

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Nah I wouldn't murder, but I'd throw that shit up to God to decide. I'm not going to sit here as a victim with zero help or protection. Self defense isn't murder and I want the people or ghosts away from me NOW. And who ever on my body doing sick shit and hurting me too.

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I'm not going to shut up until it stops.

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These mother fuckers think and act like I'm really going to change my mind and forgive them too. Why everyone think I'm so soft?

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"teachers ain't testing us" ... students are.. and I wouldn't teach them shit.

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I can't motherfucking wait until the day they are all dead... and MY god finally has them too.

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There isn't a thing in the world worth all this, and all this abuse and torture with no help or protection. These past 6 fucking years. Yo fuck every last one of you too.

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FOR REAL

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I really can't wait to spit in the motherfucking face of the God that lets them.

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You blow kisses but you don't do shit about it or make them stop or make God give me back my own body.

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Now I know why I let go of my steering wheel screaming and crying at 120mph. Cause it just gets worse and worse for me and they're allowed to do what ever they want to me.

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They even get to pray for and before me when that isn't what I was going to say. I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING GOD I DON'T HAVE A THING TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS FOR. So how that the first thing out my mind every time I try to pray.

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I wanted and hoped for the best case scenario for everybody and look what happened to me and what i got instead.

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Shit... now I know....NOW I motherfucking know. I won't forgive a god or anybody that kept me knowing from me. I ran thru it. I see, I know, I remember.

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And you let them punish me for that now too.

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I refuse to live like this, forced to share my body with their family instead of mine. I rather be dead - but I shouldn't have to be the one to die.

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I really can't wait to meet the God that let and lets them

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I promise you no matter what I will never forgive, side with, or let them. They can type anyones name they want to there isn't a thing on the motherfucking earth that will ever make me let them.

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Now I know why I get sick and I pray for the day they're gone from me and my body forever and can never come back

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I hope they get 1000 years on the sun

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The nightmare and punishment to keep me away from my kids and family just gets worse and worse.

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I can't forgive a god that did this to me.

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I'm for real

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I'm drunk, about to pass out so I can cry in the morning when my alarm goes off and I have to get out of bed. I'll probably pass out in my jeans without even taking off my make up cause I don't have the strength to just "do it" anymore. The simplest fucking shit everyone takes advantage of. Cause I'm the trash can to people LIKE THEM. How would you feel? People that don't even wash their hands after going to the bathroom.

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When half my body was with my heart, while the other half was talking sick shit to me at the same time. I took a knife to my wrist that night and no matter how hard I pressed I couldn't break skin. Nah YOU DONT know what it's like. Especially when you ain't do shit wrong.

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People LIKE THEM, like I'm their fucking joke.

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Seriously... if you know what's up... why and how can you let them?

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I woke up and thought my nightmare was finally fucking over... but nah... it just got worse.

I know I be tripping but I also know my family and people who know more about this read this or will one day. I wanna make sure it doesn’t happen to the next gen. And I want to explain my side to people who just assume they know. Thanks to the ones helping me and being kind about me being crazy and tripping. I’m trying to get back to normal again. And just spitting it all out helps. In my YEARS AND YEARS of therapy... honestly they don’t hardly talk back either - you just talk while they write notes. And after reading my psych reports - they don’t even listen or get the story right.

Where did my first love bites go? Why you guys always locking shit up? I always go back and try to reread shit and most are locked up.

To the people who say I plagerize when I even cite the song and use direct quotes when their words play... play the song then read mine over the song (that’s when the parts line up)

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Like my words stop and theirs play in but when you reading it, it goes together. Like in “say goodbye” my words stop and “do you hear me crying” the songs word plays - then you read again (it’s like a duet)

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If any of my pieces ever hit - of course rearranged to an original beat and tweeked - I was like 10% commission in thanks for the therapy fee. It’s just that when I was in day hospital (after being locked up twice at 13) they would play a song and we would write how we relate and what we think of and music heals.

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And then at my school (ACE) we had a class that did the same thing