"As My World Shatters" by Runade and Soule (Throwback)

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"Joe has tried for months to earn Amanda's love, but to no success,
he's been calling and texting, coming off vexing, making a bigger mess.
At rock bottom now, he listens to the sound of her message machine,
and that's when he decides to take his life to impress his queen..."

I'm the God of destruction, setting everything I love aflame,
nothing's enough, disdained, there's no sign from above attained.
How does one judge one's pain, when darkness touched the brain,
feeling alone in a broken kingdom, hopeless, needing a brush of faith.
How could you nudge your way through depression and come out okay?
When I'm troubled by the struggle, I seem to run forever in place,
it's as if I will never escape, it's too late, I feel the pressure restrain.
Trying to better my case, but I'm being squashed by this stellar weight,
I'm becoming blue from the crushing truth that loving you can't ever change.
Going insane from throwing away the memories that warmed my heart,
the storm departs but it's torn to shards through the core of my warn out scars.
This war inside starts to weaken my knees, I begin pleading in gasps,
I can't handle it anymore, please, tighten this rope and let it... *SNAP!*
I hang here as the pain clears, nothing she could say matters,
freed once and for all from so many faults as my world shatters.

"Amanda begins to worry about Joe, he isn't answering the phone,
and it's not like him to leave her alone, a haunting chill hits her bones.
She calls his friends and then his folks, not a word, she's losing hope,
a dryness curses her throat as she nears his house through the snow..."

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We'd bickered first, then we'd curse, I hate the fact our filters burst.
We bait the acts with liquor thirst, no taking back the bitter words.
Quivered nerves that shake contrast, the mirrored blurs of breaking glass.
It's still absurd to say we're past, the inward urge of breaking pacts.
The pacts we made, but facts bring shade to blinding lights
the path - we strayed from half afraid of finding spite....
will guide us right ....

into the cycled fights, an old routine, the title 'Right' we hold supreme
the jury''s out - debate the facts, the trials' cite we both concede.
If we both could see, the other's pain, not raise our voice with thunder's rage
but we storm away, our suffer stained the sweet rejoice of summer's rain.
The bar was set, that phrase is so
condescent but I digress - I expected you to raise it though.
But these days with no, text or call, feelings? you've expressed them all,
No doubt you're dodging my next assault, how long's it been? I can't recall.
Two weeks now, I can't decide if I should chance it - driving by,
maybe you've moved on, left to stand aside with my endless chants of 'timing' right?
I pulled up to your crib, in fact - your car is here, I skidded past.
I knocked on the door and grimaced fast, the wicked smell emitted passed....
My spirit sank, gone rigid af-ter the the vivid image of you twistin' back...
and forth - I weep and stress, death has come and reaped again,
The guilt in me, I keep repressed, a pendulum of deep regrets.

"Amanda chokes on her tears as Joe swings from the chandelier,
at his parent's vacation house where Joe learned to become an engineer.
She ponders her mistakes as her heart continues to break and disappear,
wondering why she didn't just let him in when the love was always clear..."

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