The Death of Me

I met a man with fabulous eyes, who had a thing for scandalous lies
So after all our blasphemous sighs, we said our passionate byes
One night he found me by the lake, crying about my huge mistake
He thought my body was his to take, but I, flicked off, Mr. Fake
He rang me up a couple of times, left a few romantic lines
But nothing changes simple minds. Nothing would change mine
He wouldn’t give up this liar in love, talked and stalked and wouldn’t give up
I had the police take down his name. Then he changed his game
I hadn’t heard from him in years, so I let go, of all my fears
I walked around with confident ease, and with my life, I felt quite pleased
Then one day, when I was 28, sowing seeds with my dad’s old rake
I turned around, who do I see? My huge mistake in front of me
He grabbed the rake and pushed me down, “Hello Bitch. I’m back in town
You don’t look happy or pleased to see, little ol’ fucked up me
What? You thought I’d let you go? I guess you bitches didn’t know,
there were quite a few of you. I lined ‘em up. You’re last in que
I hated you, you little cow. The day I left I made a vow that I’d be back to
seek revenge, ‘cause I look after, all my friends
Now listen to my words, real close. Tell me what you want the most
‘Ya got a choice, you’re lucky last…. ‘Ya wannit slow or fast?”
I whispered words that did no good. And when I cried he said I should
I thought ‘Just beg a lil’ more, and maybe he’d be out the door’
I begged and pleaded for my life, screamed on seeing the butcher’s knife
And bending down right next to me, he said I was his fantasy
and…
“It’s ok. You’ll be just fine. Right after you are mine.”
He kissed my lips, and pierced my heart
And wiped my tears, and pushed down hard
And cupped my face, and turned the blade,
that’s when I saw my whole life fade
I watch him still from Heaven Above. I loom around him in disgust
I show my face at times in knives and bring my friends who lost their lives
We whisper words into his ear and watch him terrified with fear
And then we let him hear us laugh
Guess who does it last?















hhttp://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?475363-.
://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?475228-He

@Emilyinthepool

You posted a verse in the poetry section. I plan to leave feed but I wanted to know if you wanted me to move this over to the OM section.

I just thought it was more suited in the poetry section @Professor Frost , because of the lack of multis and what not.
What do you think?

@Professor Frost , Just put it where you think it should go.
Thank you for that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Emilyinthepool

I just thought it was more suited in the poetry section @Professor Frost , because of the lack of multis and what not.
What do you think?

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I like it a lot. I'm going to leave feed in a few minutes after I debate something with RB.

Simplicity emphasizes u r work if this was filled with advance multi I feel it would of lost its meaning this was enjoyable and with fine tuning and polishing could be top notch.......great read

You are a GREAT story teller and writer... you captured my attention the entire time like OMG what next... at first I was like is it real, because how could you know the emotion involved with being stalked if it wasn't... you have me over hear ready to jump over myself like a little girl in the Sound of Music - fascinated...

GREAT JOB!

lmao this was funny and really dope,,very good story telling the end got fucking fantastic though


and…
“It’s ok. You’ll be just fine. Right after you are mine.”
He kissed my lips, and pierced my heart
And wiped my tears, and pushed down hard
And cupped my face, and turned the blade,
that’s when I saw my whole life fade
I watch him still from Heaven Above. I loom around him in disgust
I show my face at times in knives and bring my friends who lost their lives
We whisper words into his ear and watch him terrified with fear
And then we let him hear us laugh
Guess who does it last?


that was written really well even had an eerie feeling to it


really nice job

I love your writing style emily. You have a great rhyme scheme, and always your pieces are smooth and easy to read. I liked the story you told, as GoW said you added the element of humor to a dark tale, I love that, the contrast of it, Poe-esque. Parts of this was sad and disturbing, you can feel the fear your female character is feeling as you read. This was a nice read Emily, keep them coming.