Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
lmao -man.. for a second i was like yo -wtf is this kid thinking.. but then i got like two more lines into it and i found the scheme of it.. real rough start man.. a lot of people might not stick with it because of that --this had a real rookie sense to it, but i loved it man, it went hand in hand with the message lol
theese parts killed it
If you say you won't then you'd better stay with your own.
You're safe in your zone...
Just don't let me catch you on tha Rhyter's Block - that's where I'm livin' now.
That's where I handle business when I scribble all my visions down.
that right there was tite man
this is my fav part of it all..
I've gotta make you hear exactly where I'm comin' from & what tha message is.
I'm not claiming to be tha best @ this, I'm saying I'm obsessed with this...
Blessed with gifts to test my grip...
that shyt right there is fuccing dooooooooooope son, for real man... fun read dood, keep rockin
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
Thanks man... I'm glad you enjoyed it, for real...
& also, I like how you pointed out tha beginning bc I totally meant for it to build up tha rest, ever so slowly, as if I were just talkin' casually with somebody before I strike 'em with tha rhyme scheme...
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
oh lol... well, since youve explained it like that -yeah, i guess i can see the design your goin for --god shyt man
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
I actually enjoyed this piece more then I thought I would. It's not bad for a boast piece at all actually. You should loss the @'s though. They kinda had me confused at first lol.
Quote:
I'm talkin' about that real rap reverberating deep in your psyche,
-- I bet that you can feel that!
A hobby turned obsession. I'm a snobby word detective...
@ tha end of this session, I'll be damned if I haven't got this verse perfected
Bc nobody can turn a sentence quite like I can...
With tha mic in my hand, I'm indestructable.
I'm here to collect my deductible.
Quote:
You're safe in your zone...
Just don't let me catch you on tha Rhyter's Block - that's where I'm livin' now.
That's where I handle business when I scribble all my visions down.
Quote:
I'm just tryin' it on for size, you know, in case I make it there.
I'm dreamin' larger than life, I've gotta make it clear.
I've gotta make you hear exactly where I'm comin' from & what tha message is.
I'm not claiming to be tha best @ this, I'm saying I'm obsessed with this...
These bars stuck out the most.. -In my opinion-. The writers block line.. To me I'd say that was the most creative here. You tackled the whole verse though. The flow was solid. But I think you could've played with the rhyme scheme a lil' more. I think you did a good job. This would sound nice recorded. It just had that audio vibe to it ya know. I enjoyed it keep writing.
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
this piece was an enjoyable read
If you say you won't then you'd better stay with your own.
You're safe in your zone...
Just don't let me catch you on tha Rhyter's Block - that's where I'm livin' now.
That's where I handle business when I scribble all my visions down.
parts like thisshone for me.. keep at it dude
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
Thanks for tha feedback No Heaven 4 Gz & k-ustom.
I'm stoked that you got a kick out of tha Rhyter's Block line!
Obviously, I was feelin' it, but I thought it would be a miss with whoever read this piece...
Quote:
Originally Posted by No Heaven 4 Gz
This would sound nice recorded. It just had that audio vibe to it ya know.
I'm definitely lookin' to break through into audio, just haven't saved up tha money for it...
I usually do compose my flows to music tho...
Thanks again!
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
Up.
Any thoughts or insight??
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
Re: A Hobby Turned Obsession
I loved it.... hope you have made it by now... and sound advice "step away from the flame" but it seems like it's coming from every where
