SSR Week Five Champ Match: Soule (4-0) vs Slayer (2-2) (Soule)

50 Lines.
Due Saturday, 11:59PM PT.
Votes Due Monday, 11:59AM PT.
Giving y'all more time so shit might finish on time.

Challenge Week!
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...13#post8953813

@Soule
vs
@Slayerr.

I'll be writing sometime before Thursday, won't be home for five days after that. So it's the only time I'll have to write.

I won’t have time until Friday/Saturday so will drop then

TICK
TOCK

TICK

TOCK
DING!
DING!

DING!

DING!

It's midnight at the Miller's home, they sit around the living room praying that the sinner's gone,
Father Jacobs is upstairs throwing holy water on their only daughter as she screams in a bitter tone.
You can hear the cracking within her bones as the demon clenches onto the strings that grip her soul,
"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, PRIEST, OR I'LL EAT HER LIVER WHOLE!" echoes between a grin and groans.
Chanting scriptures in Latin, Father Jacobs ignores the threats with a cross against her head,
his thoughts filled with dread, of lost kids he met, his confidence shaking with every dishonest breath.
The demon senses the stress and takes the advantage, "HOW MUCH FAITH DO YOU HAVE LEFT?!"
Father Jacobs continues his chants, sweat in his hands drenching the words he struggles to bless.
"YOUR HEART IS A MESS, FATHER! I CAN SMELL YOUR DOUBT LIKE A PILE OF SHIT!"
Father Jacobs presses forward toward the end, fighting to ignore the monster's vile intent.
With every sentence he mends, he can feel the child move a mile into the wild abyss,
and that smile torments him... but failure isn't an option this time while her vitals emit.
"MY FAVORITE PART IS JUST AROUND THE BEND...WHEN THE SPIRIT OF THE INNOCENT SUBMITS!
UNLESS OF COURSE...YOU'D SWITCH YOURS FOR HERS...WHAT A TASTY JUDGEMENT!"
Tempted by the idea of trading his soul for hers if it meant she walked away, John hesitates,
but before he could drop the trade, the demon reaches out and makes the child's jaw separate.
Blood beading from her eyes as her spine deviates out of place and her body levitates,
the Priest stands in horror, his teeth chipping as he comes to grip with this jarring escapade.
Her hands begin to burn from the inside out, blisters boiling as puss runs from her mouth,
urine streams to the sheets, just like clouds, releasing screams and shrieks among other sounds.
Downstairs, her mother drowns in wine and pills to hide the thrill she gets from her daughter's pain,
as the father prays with much stronger faith than the Priest attempting to conquer hate.
A family trapped in calamity wrapped in Greed and Envy... filthy... stained...
making it easy for demons to reason with misguided youth in an empty cage.
Someone required pity, shame, attention or love or a fulfilling change,
when a boy came along and sang a song that helped her write a chilling page.
Until someday, that boy turned into a beast with horns and teeth like a shark,
and evil seeped through the dark like a liquid that'd reach to her heart.
Now, she's losing the battle as that demon travels through her scars,
and her veins unravel as it straddles her like a supernova coursing to Mars.
The Priest cowers into a corner, watching as her skin tears apart,
when her father crashes through the door and places a daring card.
"Take me instead! Let my daughter go and I'll be your shield!"
The demon repeats the deal, contemplating if the feat is real,
"I just ask that her wounds are healed, then I'll sign and seal!"
The demon releases a laugh as her body falls back to the mattress,
unaware of what happened, she stares as her father smashes
his head through the walls before grabbing a crucifix.
He stabs it through his wrist, up his arm as the red and blue is mixed.
Drinking all the holy water, using what humanity he has left to spew a script.

"IN NOMINE... PATRIS... ET FILII... ET SPIRITUS... SANCTI!"
but in a last bloom of violence, the demon snaps his neck, and the room goes silent...

The uniform on my body was once ironed with pride
Now it’s a constant reminder of how I’m dying inside
it’s my own failures that led me down this path
To turn my life around and better myself...
oh how god laughed

Hiding below the decks on a silent strike for more pay
Hair line fading; as I haven’t slept in nearly four days
Overworked and under appreciated; so my effort is minimal
If a civilian had to endure what I do, it would be criminal!
But once the dotted line was signed my future was no longer mine
They can send me to jail without me even committing a crime!
Trapped in this floating prison for nearly a year
Forbidden to even have a third can of beer

Your worth as a person is defined by a bit of cloth on your chest
And the bitter old men abuse the power as it’s all they have left
In their post divorce lives they resort to bulling kids
But if I speak up I’d be sent to prison for telling fibs
I never ring mum for comfort, that wouldn’t bring me harmony
Although someone’s entrusted me with a key to the armoury

Pistol to my ear I can hear the sound of sweet relief
So peaceful, and the pain would be brief
Maybe this will teach them that we don’t feel respected
But in a press release they’ll pretend to feel dejected
What do I give a fuck? Let them spin their web of lies
I can’t do this anymore, I won’t see another sun rise

Now I’m dead, yet nothing has changed...
Just another name read out on Remembrance Day

Soule - this was a cool and different take. It read very smoothly and had a strong ending. The multis littered throughout were nice. Everything about this was very well written.

Slayerr - This read smoothly but was the most original. I feel as though you maybe wanted to expand on this but were pressed for time. It wasn’t at all bad the imagery was on point and the lines were written well it just wasn’t as unique or gripping as Soule’s

V/ Soule

To be honest i didnt like the decorative approach of font style hahah but this piece was beautiful and really details your growth as a writer. You displayed the best soule to be quite honest with you and i dont regret saying that. Your control of the narrative and the pace you keot the alluring concept unfolding was pure cocaine. Dope stuff great work.

Slayer - your diction and schemes were great you had one hell of a piece. You told a great story and with that not only did you outs your wit here but you really showcased your stature in writing. Never an issue with your writing ans it is always complete buuuut here is the breaker.

This is the 4th week and you have gone and detailed in deoth the use of a gun and the metaphor of war and the stereotypical cadence insanity pleading normalcy... Thrice now so to me that set you back because the metaphors and content was some what ideally repetitive for me personally and angle was just dead give away. Lyrics itself was great but not picasso haha...

Mvgt: Soule

2-0

Bump

It feels like Slayerr kind of rushed together a piece this week. I wanted more and it feels like a topic he’s touched on before? I dunno. Just something about it feels like it lacked the creativity needed to win a champ match. There was good lines and the writing was sound, just conceptually there could’ve been more to this and you could’ve dug deeper for it.

Soule you had a good drop front to back, I think my only complaint is that I FEEL like I’ve also seen you write on the topic of demonic possession a lot of priestly type stuff in the past so I would’ve liked to see something you haven’t written on before as well? Or maybe I’ve just seen so many movies that it’s hard to be super pumped on a possession piece haha..But the way you put it together made it really entertaining beginning to end. The ending was dark. The writing itself and wording were great, I ran into no issues myself when reading.

Overall, they’re both well written, but one just seemed to stand out above the other on a entertainment level and even with the writing itself…

Vote Soule