Baltimore is Burning

There's a trail of blood
Perhaps only I see,
It goes from southern mud
To Maryland's grandest city.

Baltimore is burning
And they say violence isn't the answer
Even though violence has stricken us
A cancer
Growing, growing
To consume the mind
An eye for an eye
When the whole world seems blind
To our plight.
Who will fight our fight for us?
You took our leaders
And no number of statues
Will replace their voice and presence
I'll take it back to my adolescence

Back,
To a talk you do not question
"The Talk" as a Black youth
The horror story
Filled with tragedy and twisted allegory
"Remember in the end
It just may come down to your skin"
And why is this preached
To each and every one
Under the supposed free
American sun?
I thought we were all
America's sons!

Guess again,
Dress the conversation in
The darkest suit your mind can conceive
My life is a little "I have a dream"
A little"I can't breathe"
Hands raised on my knees
Not to praise
But to beseech
"Mr. Officer Please not me!!!"

Because I remember the teachings
All while I'm stuck here beseeching
And retelling myself what year it is

Damn the Knowledge of the fact
The whiteness I lack
Fucks me, be it 1960 or 2015
The facts are straight
The streets are mean
Just like the country sticks
And I'm just steadfast trying to fit
Into a society set against me.
There's just no relenting

But I shouldn't be angry
I'm told, I'm told, I'm told
Time unfolds
And behold!
Anger has bettered suppression
The beast in me
Defeats the longing to assimilate
I bled when lead penetrated
An unarmed Floridian teen
You see I'm a little Trayvon Martin
I'm a little Martins Dream
But you forgot
There was a little Malcolm in-between
And after this attack on my race
You've declared war by any means

Trust that it wasn't me
That stirred this aggression
It was the transgressions
Legislatively and physically
Which does not lessen

They preached peace for long enough
At times reality is tough
But believe the time for pushing back
Has dawned
Ire Birthed by political yawns towards our pleas
Suppressions symphony
Squelching our voice with ease
Perhaps they'll change their tune
If they bleed...
So now Baltimore Is Burning.

Fucking liberal media and a racist liberal president/attorney general.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Father Lewis

Fucking liberal media and a racist liberal president/attorney general.

---

My thoughts are my own. Believe what you will.

This is the most outwardly racist president we've had since Herbert Hoover. Him and Holder and especially Sharpton have done nothing but widen the racial divide through the devastating power of the evil liberal media.

I hate how everything gets spun. Literally 6 individual cases are all it took to send the U.S. back to the 1960s.

Baltimore residents are assaulting innocent bystanders and destroying stores located next to hospitals where families shop for their sick and dying relatives. they're cutting firehoses so the FD can't save people's lives they are putting in jeopardy. people who had nothing to do with this situation whatsoever. they're robbing and attacking residents of their hometown under the guise of a 'black lives matter' protest and it's sickening. i see pictures of people smiling while they ransack local businesses. what a day to be disenfranchised.

what is happening in Baltimore is in no way conducive to any real change. it will only serve to perpetuate more anger and violence.

the people who are burning Baltimore are scumbags, and while your verse is a more generalized diatribe on the plight of a tremendously marginalized and disadvantaged group (one of many), using Baltimore burning as a visual metaphor for your message is misplaced in my opinion.

fuck the people burning Baltimore. not the actual, peaceful protesters. not the people with anger and frustration and rage at their injustices. but the human garbage who are taking their frustrations out on innocent people don't deserve to see tomorrow's sunrise.

Give Truth actual feed on his piece for its use of literary style, imagery, etc. Take this political discussion elsewhere, this isn't the spot to be talking about it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TheIllyricist

Give Truth actual feed on his piece for it's use of literary style, imagery, etc. Take this political discussion elsewhere, this isn't the spot to be talking about it.

---

This.

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mr. Black

Baltimore residents are assaulting innocent bystanders and destroying stores located next to hospitals where families shop for their sick and dying relatives. they're cutting firehoses so the FD can't save people's lives they are putting in jeopardy. people who had nothing to do with this situation whatsoever. they're robbing and attacking residents of their hometown under the guise of a 'black lives matter' protest and it's sickening. i see pictures of people smiling while they ransack local businesses. what a day to be disenfranchised.

what is happening in Baltimore is in no way conducive to any real change. it will only serve to perpetuate more anger and violence.

the people who are burning Baltimore are scumbags, and while your verse is a more generalized diatribe on the plight of a tremendously marginalized and disadvantaged group (one of many), using Baltimore burning as a visual metaphor for your message is misplaced in my opinion.

fuck the people burning Baltimore. not the actual, peaceful protesters. not the people with anger and frustration and rage at their injustices. but the human garbage who are taking their frustrations out on innocent people don't deserve to see tomorrow's sunrise.

---

I cannot say that it's misplaced. It's all tied in. This shit didn't just happen. Though I know you know that.

i did make a comment on truth's work.

perhaps if you practiced some critical thinking you would see that my entire post centered around a single, overarching criticism of the piece.

furthermore, maybe you should offer truth some feedback instead of micromanaging other people's boarding habits.


@TheIllyricist

There's a trail of blood
Perhaps only I see,
It goes from southern mud
To Maryland's grandest city.

Interesting opener, and a strong image. Ties in with our current events as well.

Baltimore is burning
And they say violence isn't the answer
Even though violence has stricken us
A cancer
Growing, growing
To consume the mind
An eye for an eye
When the whole world seems blind
To our plight.
Who will fight our fight for us?
You took our leaders
And no number of statues
Will replace their voice and presence
I'll take it back to my adolescence

I wonder if this is your own opinion coming through. I can only assume it is judging by the use of "I". On the political side, it's an interesting statement. People do say violence is not the answer (an opinion I do share), however I also feel they do not consider or try to understand where the violence is coming from and thus become blind to the issues entirely. Solutions aren't so cut and dry. Nice play with Ghandi's eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Back,
To a talk you do not question
"The Talk" as a Black youth
The horror story
Filled with tragedy and twisted allegory
"Remember in the end
It just may come down to your skin"
And why is this preached
To each and every one
Under the supposed free
American sun?
I thought we were all
America's sons!

Not as much playing around done here. Although I did enjoy the themes of the black man and a horror movie, even if it can be and has been played out before. Very emotional verse here.

Guess again,
Dress the conversation in
The darkest suit your mind can conceive
My life is a little "I have a dream"
A little"I can't breathe"
Hands raised on my knees
Not to praise
But to beseech
"Mr. Officer Please not me!!!"

Loving the rhyme scheme here. Made for a fluid read. Smooth and the quotations really worked strong here. One of the stronger parts of your piece. I've said this for someone else, but this reminds me of something that would be on Def Poetry Jam.

Because I remember the teachings
All while I'm stuck here beseeching
And retelling myself what year it is

Not much to say for this here, really. Decent lead in for the next set.

Damn the Knowledge of the fact
The whiteness I lack
Fucks me, be it 1960 or 2015
The facts are straight
The streets are mean
Just like the country sticks
And I'm just steadfast trying to fit
Into a society set against me.
There's just no relenting

Emotional. Stylistically I feel this might be the weakest part of your piece. But hey, mistakes will be made. I can feel your emotion for the problem in Baltimore and the problem as a whole in the United States.

But I shouldn't be angry
I'm told, I'm told, I'm told
Time unfolds
And behold!
Anger has bettered suppression
The beast in me
Defeats the longing to assimilate
I bled when lead penetrated
An unarmed Floridian teen
You see I'm a little Trayvon Martin
I'm a little Martins Dream
But you forgot
There was a little Malcolm in-between
And after this attack on my race
You've declared war by any means

Solid use of repetition at the beginning here. Kind of mirrors how certain things have been drilled into the black society over and over again. But right now it's just not working when so many things contradict the message. Martin nameplay was good.

Trust that it wasn't me
That stirred this aggression
It was the transgressions
Legislatively and physically
Which does not lessen

One of the parts of the work that I do agree with on a social, political level. A history of physical and legislative racism has built the pot to the boiling point. Not much I can say here again stylistically, I can see it's a lead in for the conclusion but I feel it's not quite as good a link.

They preached peace for long enough
At times reality is tough
But believe the time for pushing back
Has dawned
Ire Birthed by political yawns towards our pleas
Suppressions symphony
Squelching our voice with ease
Perhaps they'll change their tune
If they bleed...
So now Baltimore Is Burning.

There will be push back for sure. We're seeing it. It's been evident for a while. Politically do I think push back (like the violence of these protests) is right or the right way? No, not really. But I understand the piece and where you're coming from. Ending with the title of the title and the beginning of the poem is cool. Not sure if you needed to. Something's missing from the conclusion, I'm just not sure what it is. Political yawns was an interesting image.

Overall a pretty interesting piece here. Politically and emotionally charged. Not your best work stylistically and structurally but there was some solid imagery and wordplay here that I enjoyed.