On That Note (ft. KING and Cry)

Verse 1 - KING
Verse 2 - Cry
Verse 3 and in between lines - Brandon Cee

On That Note

The melody strikes my bleeding eardrums,
this symphony of light; a beating succumb.
Fingers are numb as I strum these strings,
my heart orchestrates a psalm beneath kings.
The tune of my violin silences violence too,
with no pique, a unique mist of violets spew.
"Tonight's just you," all my dreams awaken,
audiences pause applause, seats seem forsaken.
It's a mistaken belief that relieves my soul,
I've gone too far beyond bars to die unknown.
Alone, I'm more then just a musician today,
I'm a folktale that prevails, a magician you display.

The mission was to give them blood -
and sweat for those who accept my work
as a gift, not a threat at first. I only achieved
the latter, but it matters less when I feel
accomplished, so stop it with the slander
for I demand a free man's office to produce.

I close my eyes, watching this guy...
and there, all my life's unrolling in a single blind stride,
even then I find light, even deeper in my mind's eye,
it's so right, I... can't describe what's so deceiving,
fingers hitting each key, pushing down then leaving!
I check my ears for any bleeding, press my tears --
with a handkerchief; hand it off and bless my peers,
suddenly it's an end I fear, and I wait reluctantly,
for that melody to up and leave after touching me,
walk out like any love and dream, it hurts and stings,
and I open my eyes as father finishes the Für Elise.

But what they didn't get was the
letter that follows this stanza - it has a
certain appeal and they've shown it as one
of Beethoven's favorite pieces of work -
a note to his faithful, grateful dead or alive
who strive for more than the eye sees.

Music binds us from behind our eyes as tears try to blind us
The light's beam through minus the darkness; trying to find love
In a spec of dust - a kind of trust that only exists in fingertips
The beating of a heart can only hurt, music lives between the kicks
And every genius lives safe, where no man has invested at first
My mind's a cavern for slumber and a stage for the rest of my work
No. 9 - this song is silent for years as I tweak with these notes
And I've never gotten to hear it - my hope is you feel what I wrote
Reveal every slope to me as I fail to find one I can easily climb
History makes or breaks you...I was sure they'd leave me behind
But it was pleasing to find that composure in a real tough position
Leads a decomposed body to a well-known, recomposed composition

And on that Note...I bid you adieu!

-Beethoven

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...lf-379564.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-379802.html

hmmmm..to be quite honest, this is not one of the better collabs i have seen on here...it didnt really jump out to me at all...i think king's verse was the weakest here...alot of forced rhymes and it seemed as if he was just trying to seem interesting, but wasnt making the grade. I think cry had the best verse here...based off the flow alone...however i thought brandon did a good job in terms of imagery and emotion you could kind of feel something from the way he wrote...same with cry but not so much. I would suggest that you take more time on the topic if you three ever collab again...maybe make people rewrite their verses if two out of three people dont agree on one person's verse..im not sure how you guys went about it...im not hating on anyone, i just wasnt feeling this one

um...ok?

check.

this was not bad, cry did have the best verse here while king had the weakest... his first verse i thought was a weak opener... but you had some nice multi... the context was alright too.... and the rest, prime pretty much summed it... ill maybe edit the rest tomorrow.... im exausted lol

uppin?

Sorry for bringing this down guys. :(

Very good piece

So I felt the emotion in all three verses. Imagery and vocab was of a decent standard by all of you. Also there was lots of nice description, that helped the piece both flow and made it more intresting for the reader.

I was mosted impressed by K I N G. His verse was tight. Very good effort

Quote:

---

Fingers are numb as I strum these strings,
my heart orchestrates a psalm beneath kings.
The tune of my violin silences violence too,
with no pique, a unique mist of violets spew.

---

Awesome

Alrighty guys

Bell - Eh, wasn't exactly what I expected. You need to quit trying so hard on the multies my man, get into the peice more. Its not about how much it rhymes, its about how much it makes sense, lol. You had 2 good lines in that stanza though, its the first two dude above me highlighted. Those are how you want to have your lines, those didn't seem forced, all the rest of your lines did. Keep writing you'll get the hang of it sooner or later.

Cry - You had a decent part - but I was expecting MUCH better. I guess you just threw some shit down Cry. Ususally I see dope shit, but this seemed forced too. I think you need to write when you feel it, maybe you were rushed so you felt obligated to get it done then, didn't take your time... I mean, it really didn't look like your writing. But like Bell, you had a few lines I was like: "DAMN!".

Quote:

---

suddenly it's an end I fear, and I wait reluctantly,
for that melody to up and leave after touching me,
walk out like any love and dream, it hurts and stings,
and I open my eyes as father finishes the Für Elise.

---

But I think you should've took the 'the' out before Fur Elise because it's a peice of music, so you know... blah blah blah. Haha, but nice work, I hope to see a better peice of work next time I read something of yours!

Cee -

Quote:

---

Music binds us from behind our eyes as tears try to blind us
The light's beam through minus the darkness; trying to find love
In a spec of dust - a kind of trust that only exists in fingertips
The beating of a heart can only hurt, music lives between the kicks

---

WTF that was dope. I just kinda, stopped, then re read it and was still like "damn". You had a nice little addition at the bottom of this OM. I wasn't really feeling the intervals between verses though. It kinda threw me off, wasn't really getting what you were trying to portray. But you made up for that shit with your verse. Shew, you're one hell of a writer, and it seems you've gotten better since the first round in the playoffs a few seasons ago :o. Lol keep up this work, for sure... & we'll have to battle it out or collab a few times :)

(By battle it out i mean in SS)

I need a few of you to RTF on this peice:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rn-379922.html

thanks...

This peice was dope. The multis in all three verses were very nice, crys verse really stuck out to me. Flow was excellent in three verses and imagery was good too. Vocab was nice, nothing simple, kept it interesting. This would have to be one of the best peices ive read in a long time. Good work to all of you. In my opinion its a 10/10